Musings from a divorced & displaced city girl raising 2 kids alone on 4 acres in Connecticut
The Author

Christopher

Giavanna
Sex In The Suburbs

Sex In The Suburbs

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I got passion in my pants and Im not afraid to show it….Im sexy and I know it.”   LMFAO

This song that was playing in my kitchen as I made my way downstairs this morning.  My Bose radio is set to WKTU- thanks to Giavanna-  We love music in our house, so there there is frequently some variety playing in the background.  I try to turn the channel every time I hear words that are clearly suggestive of sex but it is a great challenge. The word sexy is thrown around everywhere today. Giavanna is only nine years old and sort of understands the meaning of the word. Im not a prude it’s just that it seems to me that the bombardment of sexuality in our culture is a little too much for everyone.

 

hollister addI took Christopher to a PG movie last month  and almost all the previews were close ups of some sexual encounter as are most commercials. Our children hardly even flinch when they see it as they are incredibly used to it. All the ads for young children are sexual, why in the world would you want your young children in revealing and tight fitting clothes.

They have their entire life to deal with all that comes with exploring sexuality. I think we need to prolong their innocence  as long as possible, nothing good can come out of a premature sexual experience. Im quite sure of that.

However, I know that the age of children getting involved sexually has changed. In my son’s health class they are discussing abstinence- he is twelve years old, they discuss std’s and pregnancy and all the downside of having sex. It all contradicts the messages that our society subjects us all to. From award shows to talk shows to reality shows- the theme is predictable. It works therefore….

How are we are supposed to shelter our children.  I think Im the only parent who doesn’t let their kids watch Glee or Family Guy. Im very mindful of what is going on under my roof, knowing that when they go to other homes, it is probably different.  As my son matures, I certainly am less rigid with his exposure to things however I do believe there is a fine line. It’s a tough balance but Im happy to stay on the conservative side of the fence. That I will certainly never regret. Interestingly,  my parents were not overly conservative with me and I am decidedly so with my own children. I feel that I need a tighter rein on them given the world we live in.

I can’t even turn on the radio without hearing about passion in someone’s pants. I think that is a rather sad commentary on the world we live in. Perhaps I have just turned into a parent who is trying to instill decency and moral value in my children despite the messaging around them.  I wonder if every generation feels this way about the expression of sexuality. Im all for sexy things and enjoying sex but not until you are mature enough to handle all that comes with it. A healthy sense of one’s sexuality is fabulous but I hardly think it can exist at such a tender age. xo

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/debellis Debbie Callahan Ellis

    I am with you on this!  I will keep my girls in a bubble as long as I can.  I was disappointed at a school event in the fall when they played that exact song and the kids were singing right along.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/leighhowlett Leigh Estrella Howlett

    This takes me back to our childhood when Madonna was plastered all over the radio stations… “Like a virgin” Who knew what we were singing. I can remember my mom many years later talking to me about this. Its a fact of life that music is out there..its our duty as parents to stare our kids in the right direction with guidance and love!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1018147524 Claire Gregoire Lemire

    All true, agreed.  Same thing when the “Whistle” song came out…extremely suggestive.  Where do they get off playing or even producing such songs?  Too bold for young ears. 

  • Amanda Bloom

    Trying to shelter your children from sex is not the way to go.  If parents do not talk openly about sex, children are going to learn about it from their peers and the media, and ultimately garner their values from those sources.  

    There is no way to shield your kids from sex, and the fact is that some kids come of age sexually at a very young age.  It’s important for parents to talk frankly about values and sex with kids as soon as it comes up.  This will help eliminate confusion and misinformation, and, most importantly, create a trusting and open dynamic between parent and child.  If parents don’t talk to their kids about sex, it reinforces the taboo, and kids will be less likely to come to their parents with questions or concerns.  

    Honesty and openness is the only way to “protect” kids from the confusing ways sexuality is presented in our culture.